Speaking for Emotions, Not From Emotions

When it comes to difficult conversations, it's important to remember that how you say something is just as important as what you say. Speaking for emotions, not from emotions, is a skill that can help you communicate more effectively and respectfully, even when you're feeling angry, hurt, or frustrated.

What Does It Mean to Speak for Emotions, Not From Emotions?

Speaking for emotions means that you're aware of your emotions, but you're not letting them control your words or actions. You're able to step back and take a breath before you respond, so you can choose your words carefully.

Speaking from emotions, on the other hand, means that you're blended with your emotions letting your emotions dictate your communication. You're more likely to say things that you'll later regret, and you're less likely to be heard or understood.

Tips for Speaking for Emotions, Not From Emotions

Here are a few tips for speaking for emotions, not from emotions:

• Take a break. If you're feeling overwhelmed, take a few minutes to step away from the conversation. This will give you a chance to calm down and collect your thoughts.

• Use "I" statements. When you're talking about your feelings, use "I" statements. For example, instead of saying, "You always make me feel like I'm not good enough," say, "I feel hurt when I hear that I'm not good enough."

• Focus on the facts. When you're talking about a specific situation, stick to the facts. Avoid making generalizations or assumptions.

• Be respectful. Even if you're angry, it's important to be respectful of the other person. Avoid name-calling, insults, and other forms of personal attacks.

• Listen to the other person. When the other person is talking, listen to what they have to say. Don't interrupt them or try to talk over them.

• Validate the other person's feelings. Even if you don't agree with the other person, you can still validate their feelings. For example, you could say, "I understand that you're feeling angry, and I'm willing to listen to what you have to say."

The Benefits of Speaking for Emotions, Not From Emotions

There are many benefits to speaking for emotions, not from emotions. When you communicate in this way, you're more likely to be heard and understood. You're also more likely to resolve conflicts peacefully.

Conclusion

Speaking for emotions, not from emotions, is a valuable skill that can help you communicate more effectively and respectfully. By following the tips above, you can improve your communication skills and build stronger relationships.

Additional Tips

• Practice active listening. Active listening involves paying attention to what the other person is saying, asking clarifying questions, and reflecting back what you've heard.   

• Use humor. Humor can be a great way to diffuse tension and make a difficult conversation more manageable.

• Be willing to apologize. If you say something that you regret, apologize to the other person.

By practicing these skills, you can become a more effective communicator and build stronger relationships.